Saturday, February 15, 2025

M31 Campaign: 7-3 Zone Mortalis: Sector Control

 "He who stays on the defensive does not make war; he endures it"

- Praetor Wolfgang, XIV Legion 

Background:

While the White Scars and Blood Angels were assisting in Operation Downfall, the Traitors were not sitting idle. They had discovered the location of one of the White Scars' remaining hidden strongholds in the Uhrtar Mountains and had sent a force of Death Guard to eliminate it. Led by Praetor Wolfgang, the White Scars' longtime nemesis in the war for Xhorik Prime, the Death Guard breached the secret entrance and commenced the deadly business of fighting to clear the underground fortress, tunnel by tunnel. Both sides were desperate to hold key Sectors within the stronghold where their forces could re-arm and defend key choke points. 


Scenario: 

Sector Control (Zone Mortalis mission from The Siege of Cthonia campaign book)
Game Length: 4 turns with 2+ for turn 5 and 4+ for turn 6.

Primary Objective
Six objectives. At the end of each game turn, each players gains 1 VP for each objective they control. 

Secondary Objectives
Counter Strike: The player without strategic advantage gains 1 VP if the first unit destroyed belongs to the player with strategic advantage.
Champions of Renown: 1 VP for destroying any Character
Blood Toll: 1 VP for destroying an Elite or HQ

6 Reinforcement Points. +2 Reinforcement Points at the end of each game turn. 
Critical Objective: Random objective critical each turn. +2 Reinforcement Points for controlling it.
System Override: Active player can expend a Reinforcement Point to try to gain control of all doors.
Counter Assault: Units can enter from other table edges for extra Reinforcement Points.

Belligerents:

Death Guard: Pete
Cataphractii Terminator Praetor
Cataphractii Terminator Squad
Deathshroud Terminator Squad
Contemptor Dreadnought
Tactical Squad
Tactical Squad
Tactical Support Squad with flamers
Tactical Support Squad with volkite



White Scars: Phil
Praetor
Ebon Keshig Terminator Squad
Contemptor Dreadnought
Tactical Squad
Tactical Squad
Tactical Support Squad with plasma
Outrider Squadron with plasma

Wednesday, February 5, 2025

Da Skulltakaz







Like most Deathskulls, Da Skulltakaz are more superstitious than the average ork. They use blue warpaint and blue hair squigs as they believe this brings good luck. They also go into battle with a cleaned and dried skull of a vanquished foe, usually choosing the most recent or the most powerful enemy. They believe these skulls give them a portion of the deceased's power in battle and this belief gives them immense courage and belief in their inevitable victory. They are equipped with a motley variety of weapons that they have scavenged from past battlefields or built themselves from looted parts.

Da Skulltakaz were one of the many Deathskull mobs at the vanguard of the ork invasion into the north of Bhorivor. To the Imperial defenders, they were perceived as extremely brave, or stupid, for running directly through incoming fire to get to their enemies, believing in their lucky paint and totems to see them through. Although they suffered heavy casualties, their headlong charges were enough to dislodge many Imperial defense lines. The sight of an enemy adorned with so many skulls of their fallen comrades, running heedless through oncoming fire, was unnerving even to veterans. 

Friday, January 24, 2025

World Eaters Despoiler Squad

 I finally made my World Eaters army codex legal by adding a second compulsory troops choice - a ten-man despoiler squad with rhino transport. I used the new HH beakie armor for this squad, and I really like how they turned out. I've been wanting to add more rhino transports to my armies and I'm glad I put in the extra effort to make this happen, as not only will it make the squad far more survivable after the first turn, but also the rhino just looks fantastic, covered in skulls and gore. 

I'm also pleased with the squad sergeant, covered in a spray of blood and wielding twin falax blades. The blood spatter is always controlled chaos, as it involved loading up a big brush with Blood for the Blood God technical paint, then puff-blowing into the brush to shoot a blood splatter onto the model. Sometimes the effect is absolutely stunning, other times it is a disappointing full coverage glob that is too much. Most of this squad came out just right, as I've been doing this technique for 5 or 6 years. 















Tuesday, January 21, 2025

Xhorik 87th Drop Troopers Infantry - Contrast Recipe

 After the success of using Contrast on my grenadiers to complete 36 models in 36 days, I decided to try the same recipe and technique on my Drop Troopers. I have two infantry squads that I bought off eBay after the range was discontinued by Forge World. They were obvious recasts and of worse quality than the FW models so they sat in the drawer for a few years. But I need more infantry for the army so I decided to paint them up using the speedy Contrast method. They do not look as good (to me) as the original scheme, but they are obviously a lot faster and they are close enough that they do not look way out of place deployed on the table with the original troopers. 



I just love these guys, despite their sometimes awkward poses, how fiddly they are to assemble, the lack of options, the high (dollar) cost, and the generally poor tabletop performance in most rulesets. They just have so much flavor and they feel truly unique to me. Not another person on the planet has an army with this exact combination of bits, which is one of the things I love about this hobby.

Sunday, January 19, 2025

M31 Heresy Campaign Phase 5: Operation Downfall Climax - The Battle for the Bridge Over the River Lodi

"A bridge has no allegiance to either side."

Qiu Tongmi, Spirit Immortal, Stormseer of the V Legion 

Background:

Operation Downfall was the Loyalist codename for an attempt to establish a secure landing zone on Xhorik Prime using a planetary drop force from Xhorik Secundus with an attempt to rendezvous with the remnants of the White Scars garrison on the capital planet of the system. 

The operation started with a successful night strike on the Traitor planetary communications positions, disrupting the Traitor response to the planetary assault. 

An attempt to hold the critical Alteron Bridge to prevent Traitor forces from encircling the invaders ended in a draw, with neither side taking decisive control. 

At the same time, Loyalist drop troops made an unsuccessful raid on the war trains supplying the Traitor lines. 

With the campaign at a stalemate, the Drop Troops made an assault to capture a key planetary shield generator, opening the way for much larger Loyalist landings.

In the chaotic fighting, some regiments of Traitor auxilia took the opportunity to break away from their masters and do their own pillaging. The chaotic fighting that ensued saw a draw between the Traitors and Loyalists with the Renegade Guard being driven off. 

At this point, the Loyalists have the advantage with two wins, a loss and two draws (2-1-2). 

In the final battle, both sides would mount a powerful offensive to take the critical bridge over the south branch of the River Lodi. Even though the riverbed was seasonally dry, control of the bridge would provide the only reliable means to move armies into or out of the Loyalist drop zone and beachhead on the planet. Everything had been building up to this climactic battle that would determine the winner of this Phase. 


Scenario: 

Take and Hold (The Siege of Cthonia campaign book)
Game Length: 4 turn (we modified it to 5 turns since the table was so large)

Primary Objective
Place an objective in your opponent's deployment zone. Gain 1 VP at the end of each turn if you control an objective. Gain 3 VP if you control both objectives.

Secondary Objectives
Slay the Warlord: 1 VP
Giant Killer: 2 VP (Super-heavy, Knight, Titan, or Lumbering)
Last Man Standing: 1 VP if more units remaining at end (+1 VP if double the enemy units)
Break Their Ranks: 1VP if destroy an enemy unit first turn (+1 VP if Elite or HQ) 


Belligerents:

2 x 1800 points armies per side. 

Traitors:


World Eaters - The Crimson Path (Primary)
Played by Pete
  • Praetor: Jump pack, iron halo, thunder hammer. The Butcher's Claws.
  • Rampager Squad: 10 marines with jump packs, 3 x falax blades, 3 x meteor hammers, 4 x excorciator chain axes. Sergeant with artificer armor. [Line]
  • Apothecarion with jump pack and chain axe.
  • Legion Tactical Squad: 17 marines with chain axes. Sergeant with artificer, power fist, plasma pistol. [Line]
  • Legion Reconnaissance Squad: 5 marines with nemesis bolters and augary scanner. [Line]
  • Contemptor Dreadnought: gravis lascannon, chainfist and melta gun.
  • Legion Predator Squadron: 1 with Predator cannon and 2 x lascannon sponsons. 1 with Magna-melta and 2 x heavy bolter sponsons. 
  • Land Raider Proteus:
  • The Red Butchers: 5 terminators with 2 x power axes each. Sergeant with 2 x chainfists. 

Sons of Horus - Pride of the Legion (allied)
Played by Pete
  • Cataphractii Praetor: combi-melta, chain fist. 
  • Cataphractii Terminators: 5 terminators with combi-meltas, 3 x power fists, 2 x chain fists. [Line]
    • Transport: Land Raider Proteus. 
  • Cataphractii Terminators: 10 terminators with combi-bolters, 5 x power axes, 3 x power fists, 1 x chain fist, 1 x thunder hammer. [Line]
  • Legion Tactical Squad: 20 marines with bayonets, vexilla. Sergeant with artificer armor and power fist. [Line]
  • Master of Signals
  • Heavy Support Squad: 5 marines with lascannons
  • Contemptor Dreadnought: gravis melta, chain fist, grav gun.



Loyalists:

White Scars (Primary)
Played by Phil
  • Praetor: jetbike, master crafted Paragon blade, cyber hawk. Stoic Defender.
  • Skyhunter Squadron: 6 jetbikes with 2 x volkite culverin and 4 x heavy bolters. Sergeant with artificer armor. 
  • Legion Tactical Squad: 10 marines with bayonets. Sergeant with artificer armor and power fist [Line]
  • Legion Scout Squad: 10 marines with nemesis bolters.
  • Legion Recon Squad: 5 marines with nemeis bolters, augary scanner. [Line]
  • Contemptor Dreadnought: gravis lascannon, gravis power fist, heavy flamer. 
  • Ebon Keshig: 10 terminators with 7 x power glaives, 3 x power fists, 2 x combi-meltas, 1 x combi-bolter.
  • Xiphon Interceptor
  • Sicaran Omega: 2 x lascannon sponsons

Blood Angels (Allied)
Played by Bill
  • Praetor: Jump pack, iron halo, master crafted Paragon blade
  • Legion Tactical Squad: 17 marines with chain swords. vexilla. Sergeant with artificer armor, plasma pistol and power fist. [Line]
  • Legion Breacher Squad: 10 marines 2 x melta guns. Sergeant with thunder hammer and artificer armor. [Line]
  • Legion Assault Squad: 14 marines with 2 x power axes. Sergeant with artificer armor, plasma pistol and power fist. [Line]
  • Legion Heavy Support Squad: 8 marines with lascannons.
  • Contemptor Dreadnought: gravis lascannon, gravis powerfist, combi-bolter.
  • Land Raider Spartan: flare shield




Sunday, January 5, 2025

First Model of 2025 - Evil Sunz Nob with Power Klaw

 This model has been sitting half-painted since I lived in Pittsburgh, so at least 2016. I have not been playing or painting orks much so I never had much incentive to finish him. After some really fun games with the orks last weekend, I decided it was time to give him life. He will give some needed muscle to my shoota boyz, who currently lack any power weapons or power klaws and struggle to kill tougher foes in melee. 





With this guy, I am committing my boyz to be Evil Sunz. Up to this point, they were just sort of generic orks with red and black, but no real Evil Sunz iconography. I always wanted to do every kind of ork army and did not want to commit. I decided I am going to use my red "Blitzdreg Boyz" as Evil Sunz and then create other warbands of other klans that can combine together to form bigger and more diverse armies. 

I am also testing a new basing method for my orks: a brown base with white crushed rock, as opposed to a white base with white crushed rock. (Of course this one is dominated by the large piece of slate painted to match the original Xhorik terrain.) The orks' current bases are ok, although I do not love them. This one is also ok, but I am still not sure if this is what I should use going forward. 

Thursday, January 2, 2025

Fuel Tanks

On a whim, we decided to play a flavorful mission from the Raid on Kastorel-Novem (Imperial Armor 8). It called for six fuel tanks "at least the size of a drinks can." So, I whipped a few up. Not half bad for only a few hours of work to build and paint.






Tuesday, December 31, 2024

2024 Hobby Recap

 Most of 2024 was very slow from a hobby perspective, but it ended with a flurry of activity in Nov and Dec as we got excited about a big Warhammer Weekend. 

Score: (infantry) + (vehicles/artillery * 5) + (terrain * 5) + (games * 5) + (battle reports * 5) + posts

(Blog posts from Pete or Bill also count toward the blog score as it is just total posts for the calendar year.)

2020 output:

  • 54 infantry
  • 3 vehicles/artillery
  • 2 terrain pieces
  • 6 games played
  • 7 battle reports
  • 18 total blog posts
  • Score: 162

2021 output:

  • 81 infantry
  • 1 vehicle
  • 3 terrain pieces
  • 7 games played
  • 6 battle reports
  • 52 total blog posts
  • Score: 218

2022 output:

  • 27 infantry
  • 4 vehicles
  • 1 terrain piece
  • 4 games
  • 3 battle reports
  • 22 total blog posts
  • Score: 109

2023 output:

  • 72 infantry
  • 3 vehicles
  • 0 terrain pieces
  • 4 games
  • 4 battle reports
  • 20 total blog posts
  • Score: 147
2024 output:

  • Built and painted the canyon gaming table (calling this three terrain pieces)
  • 10 mech drop suits (counts as Ogryns) for the drop troopers
  • Blood Angels vs Death Guard game and battle report
  • 2 White Scars Sicaran Arcus tanks
  • 3-way battle Militia vs Militia vs Death Guard and battle report
  • Climax battle for the bridge: Blood Angels & White Scars vs Sons of Horus & World Eaters (no report yet)
  • Zone Mortalis battle Death Guard vs White Scars (no report yet)
  • Militia Cargo-8 Hauler
  • 30 Termagants
  • 10 Hormagaunts
  • 1 Ripper Swarm
  • 5 Drop Trooper infantry
  • 21 Ork boys and nob, mostly finished (going to call this a 2024 achievement)
  • Got a new battle mat and snowy trees for terrain (not counting this for points until I at least finish the bases for the area terrain)
  • 6 games played in the last weekend (no reports yet)

Totals:
  • 77 infantry
  • 2 vehicles/artillery
  • 3 terrain pieces (the octagon table)
  • 10 games played
  • 2 battle reports
  • 32 blog posts
  • Score: 194

We achieved a lot in the end, with the majority of the output coming in the last two months (112 points in Nov and Dec).

Looking back at my goals for 2024, I accomplished a few and missed on a few. But the idea to do a 4th edition campaign was not on the radar at the beginning of the year and that really energized me late. After a few years playing almost exclusively Horus Heresy, it really got the creative juices flowing to mix in Orks and Tyranids. And a personal highlight for me was to use the D-99 drop trooper list from Anphelion Project for the FIRST TIME ever, and in a game vs the Tyranids. That is one "life time" hobby goal checked off. 

Looking ahead to 2025, I have a ton of battle reports I should work on. It can be hard to find the time and energy to sit down at the computer in the evening after being on a computer most of the day at work. I will probably do a few as just quick recaps to speed things up. 

I want to expand the Deathskulls with a warboss and a few units. I want to add to the drop troopers since they are actually fun to play in 40k 4th edition. I actually painted five with Contrast as a test, but wanted to finish the squad before posting to the blog. For Heresy, I have a jump pack squad for my White Scars that I built but just couldn't get excited to paint in 2024 so hopefully I will finish them. I should do something for the neglected Sons of Horus, but my current recipe for them is quite painstaking with lots of sharp edge highlighting so I just haven't had the will to tackle them. 

On the gaming front, I would like to get in a proper pitched battle between Space Marines and Orks for our 4th edition campaign. I need to try out my new White Scars Arcus tanks. But then we need to think about where our Horus Heresy campaign is going and spark some new narrative there. Perhaps the big bridge battle gives new life to the loyalists and makes things more interesting? We need some ideas for what is next. 

Finally, I will say it again. Contrast paints have been a game changer for me now that I feel comfortable using them. It makes painting fun again because I can see the progress from even a short 30-minute painting session after the kids go to bed. The downside is that my armies were started without Contrast so the look does not match, and that Contrast does not work nearly as well on some models, such as space marines, as it does on others, such as Tyranids or Orks. So that will impact which armies I work on going forward as well. 

Here's to another fun year in the hobby. Cheers. 



Monday, December 30, 2024

M32 Campaign: Phase 1 Summary

We just finished the most packed weekend of Warhammer we have ever played. We managed to fit in three full scale pitched battles of 1500 points per side and three special scenarios. These games represented the first phase of the Third Xhorik War. Hopefully, I will get around to battle reports eventually, but I will start with a quick recap while it is still fresh. 


Battle 1: Cleanse

Hive Fleet Tarasque vs Planetary Defense Forces

After furious initial fighting with the ork invaders, the battered Planetary Defense Forces (PDF) were then set upon by a new threat: a novel type of Xenos. As the orks swept down into Chirosov Valley, the humans still held the mines and hills east of Vayya while the city itself was under siege. In the snowy hills, there were erratic and unreliable reports coming in about monsters appearing out of the snow and attacking. Then the garrison at Outpost Zeta-47 went silent. An expeditionary force was sent out to clear the threat and recover the outpost. The Tyranids were looking to sweep all resistance from the area so it could be harvested by ripper swarms. The PDF soldiers peered into the billowing snow, wondering what they would face at Outpost Zeta-47...

A mass of Tyranids streams through Outpost Zeta-47 toward the PDF line.


Result: Tyranid Major Victory

The PDF's first encounter with the Tyranids resulted in defeat and the loss of the expeditionary force. The few survivors brought back clear intelligence on the nature of the new threat. 


Battle 2: Secure and Control

Hive Fleet Tarasque vs Dagzag's Speed Freaks 

As the Ork forces of General Woundwart and his two Warbosses, Dagzag and Ugwurr Grimzod, pushed south out of the frozen north, they were attacked in the rear by the awakening Tyranids. Although initially limited to ambushes of small Ork patrols and isolated bands, the Tyranid numbers were growing quickly. As the fighting intensified with both the humans and the Xenos, Woundwart ordered Dagzag to take his mobile forces to secure needed supplies. However, swarms of Tyranids were also patrolling the same areas. When the two sides clashed in a sector with particularly good pickings, the Orks saw it as a chance to have a good scrap and collect some loot. 

The Ork and Tyranid lines clash. To the victor go the spoils.


Result: Ork Major Victory

Dagzag and his boyz smashed the Tyranids and secured significant amounts of loot for the Ork forces, including weapons and forcefield technology.


Battle 3: Seek and Destroy

Hive Fleet Tarasque vs Blood Angels 2nd Co.

Jumping ahead, the Third Xhorik War has been raging for nearly a year. The Planetary Governor has been frantically calling for aid , ever since the loss of the major cities of Vayya and Ironton and most of Bhroivor north of Chiros Nova. The continued delays and excuses from Unimund have raised his suspicions, but he has no proof of disloyalty yet. With Imperial forces engaged on a thousand warzones across the galaxy during the dark time of the War of the Beast, there were no armies to spare. Finally, the Blood Angels strike force Belarius arrived: a single Vanguard-class Light Cruiser transporting the 2nd battle company plus reserves elements from the 7th, 8th and 9th companies.

The Space Marines quickly discovered that the novel species of Xenos was using the subterranean tunnels beneath Ironton to grow their strength out of the frigid winter weather and safe from the Ork and human armies. A small strike team was assembled to enter the tunnels and eliminate the aliens. Yet swarms of scuttling, clawed shapes soon started tracking the Blood Angels intruders and it quickly became unclear who was hunting whom. There would be no prisoners and no mercy in the darkness of the tunnels.

Marines of the Blood Angels 2nd Company clear the catacombs of Xenos threats.


Result: Space Marine Major Victory

Chaplain __ purged the tunnels of genestealers and his men were able to flame the brood nests, reducing the numbers of Tyranids emerging from under the city. The Space Marines also realized how dangerous this new foe was and that clearing every city block by block would be too costly for their small force.


Battle 4: Orbital Strike Alpha (Rain of Blood)

Blood Angels 2nd Co. vs Orks

While Chaplain _ was leading the attacks on the Tyranid nests, Captain _ of the 2nd Company was seeking an opportunity to slow down the marauding Orks using his limited resources. With part of his strike force occupied with the Tyranids, he did not feel the time was yet right for a pitched battle; the Orks were too numerous. So he decided to strike where a small action could have an outsized impact. The Orks had captured a fuel refining plant and were making use of it to keep their Speed Freaks raiding parties active across a wide expanse. Cut off the fuel and it would limit the Orks' mobility, making it easier for the Space Marines to choose an engagement on their terms, without endless Ork reserves arriving. They would launch a Planetfall assault directly from their cruiser, using drop pods for the tactical squads and dreadnought, teleportation for the terminators, and finally the assault marines making direct orbital entry using jump packs. The attack would occur under the cover of darkness, hopefully catching the Orks completely off guard. The objective was to destroy as much of the stored fuel as possible. 

A Blood Angels raid is driven off by a fierce Ork counterattack before they can complete their mission.


Result: Ork Major Victory

Due to limited intelligence and bad luck, there were more Orks present at the refinery than anticipated. One silo was quickly destroyed, but the raid soon became bogged down into close quarters fighting, with most of the marines failing to reach the fuel silos. Captain __ had no choice but to pull his remaining men out before they were completely overwhelmed. The Orks would continue to have access to ample fuel stocks for the time being. 



Battle 5: Take and Hold

Xhorik D-87th Drop Troops Veteran 3rd co. vs Hive Fleet Tarasque

After a year of nearly continuous combat with the Tyranids and Orks along their northern and eastern borders, several regiments of drop troopers had become quite adept at dealing with their new foes. Additionally, with losses of manpower running at an unsustainable rate (it takes much longer to train the elite drop trooper regiments than standard rifle companies), the Imperial High Command sanctioned a program of development and administration of experimental combat drugs. The goal was to keep the veteran units in the field longer, fighting at higher efficiency with less rest. It also had the added benefit of making them more aggressive, improving reaction speed, and dulling fear. These new regiments were identified by the inclusion of a D in their regimental number, as in the D-87.

These specialist forces were often used to strike specific strategic targets rapidly and then hold them until the armored regiments could arrive. One such target were the ridgeline outposts in the Uhtar Mountains that would prevent the aliens from invading the Kozar district. The 3rd Company of the D-87 regiment was ordered to take and hold one of these outposts against an advancing Tyranid force. 

Despite reaching the bunker, the D-87 veterans are forced to cede the field to the more numerous Tyranids as darkness falls.


Result: Tyranid Narrow Victory

The fighting around the outpost was particularly fierce, with both sides suffering heavy losses. As the fighting extended into the evening, the fall of darkness thwarted the X-87th's aim and they had to pull back, yielding most of the strategic ridgelines to the Tyranids. 



Battle 6: Fuel Tank Raid

Xhorik D-87th Drop Troops Veteran 4th co. vs Hive Fleet Tarasque

Drop troop scouts and sniper teams had observed something unexpected: the Tyranids were seeking out and consuming vehicle fuel. As a hydrocarbon, the fuel consisted of the same elements as all life (only extremely energy-dense) and could thus be used to grow the hive fleet. Raids were undertaken by veteran D-companies of drop troopers to destroy any fuel supplies that had fallen into Xenos control before it could be utilized by the hive. 

D-87 veterans attach a melta bomb to a fuel silo as another burns in the background after being struck by a Hellstrike missile from the Valkyrie. Tyranid defenders race toward the attackers.


Result: Imperium Major Victory

The drop troopers were able to launch a series of rapid grav-chute insertions to destroy the fuel stores. They were dangerous missions and losses were significant, but the Tyranids would be denied this important resource.

Saturday, December 21, 2024

Sniksnazz Explains Beakies

Ol' Sniksnazz, by virtue of being the oldest living ork, acted as the tribe's historian. He was the keeper of the ancestorial memories and what counted as ork 'kulture': stories of the biggest and most important wars and warriors. He passed these memories along as stories told around the fires at night. It had been some time since he regaled the 'yoofs' of the camp with his recollections of the Ol' Den Days when the ork rok had been destroyed in orbit during the Third Xhorik War, causing catastrophic climate change to the planet of Xhorik Prime. This was the seminal event in their history, even giving them their name: The World Wrecka Tribe. But it was hardly the only story Ol' Sniksnazz knew.

As feral orks, they could never truly threaten the major mining and refining centers of the planet. They had been limited to raiding isolated outposts and caravans. They had never posed enough of a threat to warrant notice from the Red Brotherhood space marines stationed on the planet to protect its output of the critical Kleinhaurker ore. The marines were preoccupied with bigger threats. So it had been left to the PDF garrisons to deal with the nuisance of the primitive orks. 

After the World Wreckas had been subjugated under the newly-arrived Blitzdreg Boyz, they were equipped with upgraded technology: guns, vehicles, and artillery. Their ork instincts had kicked in and they had taken to the new weapons with glee and aptitude. With the two tribes united under Warboss Filgakk Skullsplitta, they now waged a true war across the planet, attacking cities, military installations, and mining centers. The PDF was overwhelmed and defeated in multiple pitched battles. The orks rejoiced at finally being able to smash their long-time foes and oppressors. However, their attacks now started to interrupt the flow of Kleinhaurker and finally brought down the attention of the space marine garrison at Thorrosin.  

After a few clashes with the Red Brotherhood, the orks of The World Wreckas came away suitably impressed with the fighting prowess of these new foes: superhumans who could best an ork in hand-to-hand combat, something most of them had never seen. Orks appreciated martial prowess when they saw it; the stronger the foe, the better the fight, the more glory to the victor, after all. At night, around the fire (the acquisition of technology did nothing to change this custom of the formerly feral orks), the 'yoofs' asked Ol' Sniksnazz to tell them more about these admirable warriors. 

Sniksnazz grumbled. He wanted to be fighting, not talking. But he instinctively knew his role in the orky 'kulture'. He knew the younger orks needed to be inspired to emulate the great warriors of the past and fight harder against the klan's enemies. After enough badgering by the gathering audience, he acquiesced with a grunt and a nod. He gazed around the fire, fixing each ork in turn with his one-eyed stare. Once the audience was silent, he began.

"So, ya wanna know 'bout da beakies, huh? I know da story. Da tribe caught a 'umie once, years ago. Da 'umie told one uv da ol' orks, and dat ol' ork told Ol' Grodnog, and Ol' Grodnog told me, and now I'm tellin' you lot. Beakies been around fer a long, long time. Not as long as da Boyz, but fer a long time.

It’s like dis... 

We all know how da 'umies is all soft and pink. So fer years and years and years da Boyz wuz beatin’ em up all over da galaxy. Da only good fights da boyz could find wuz wit uvver boyz. 

Den a real big boss of da 'umies comes along. Dey call him da Emp-Roar cuz he could yell so loud all da 'umies ‘ad ta listen to ‘im.  Da Emp-Roar figgers out how ta make 'umies tough like da Boyz. He makes 'em bigger and puts 'em in supa’ 'eavy armor and gives 'em proppa' shootas instead of dose weenie zap guns most 'umies use. Dese were da beakies. 

Wit 'is beakies, da Emp-Roar launched da Great Krooz-ade. Dis wuz da biggest Waaagh! da 'umies ever dun. Dere wuz loads uv beakies split into lots of klanz, each wiv a big Warboss called a Prime-Ork cuz dey wuz da biggest and baddest fightas, just like da orks. Da Prime-Orks and da beakies kroozed 'cross da stars and krumped ever-body in da galaxy. 

Finally, da only ones left fer dem ta fight was da biggest ork boss and 'is boyz: Urlakk Urg, da biggest ork dat eva' lived. Urlakk wuz Overlord of Ullanor, da biggest tribe, spread ova' twelve worlds. Sinz bosses get bigga' wiv da more boyz dey lead, Urlakk wuz da size of a deff dread!"

The listening orks looked at each other in awe, clearly interested in this part of the story. 

"It was da biggest scrap of da whole Krooz-ade. Da Emp-Roar brought da best beakie klanz and da best Prime-Orks. Dere was fightin' across the whole system at the same time - and da' boyz wuz winning! So da biggest and best Prime-Ork made a kunnin' plan. Dey called 'im Orrus and he had black armor and his nobz 'ad red and black mega armor. 'E wuz da best 'umie fighta dat eva lived. Dey zoomed past all da fightin' and went straight to Urlakk's fortress. Most uv da beakies wuz smashed up good and proppa' by da boyz, but Orrus and ten of da mega beakies made it to da top of Urlakk's fortress to face da Overlord 'imself and 'is best nobz. Orrus and Urlakk smashed each uvva wiv dere klaws and da whole fortress shook! Dey kept smashin' each uvva but dey wuz both too 'ard ta die."

The orks crowded around the fire were growing visibly excited, some clenching their fists, others stomping the dirt, still others growling and clenching their massive jaws. Ol' Snikksnazz couldn't help but grin as he felt the Waaagh! energy building up around him. Too crippled to fight, telling these stories was the only way he could experience the communal excitement and sense of unity that came from the psychic bond of the Waaagh!, something all orks needed. 

"Finally, after fightin' for hours when all da uvva beakies and boyz wuz ded, Orrus knocked down Urlakk Urg... and den picked 'im up and frew him off da top o' da fortress! Urlakk Urg went splat! And dat was da end uv da war, cuz wivvout ba big boss, all da boyz wuz fightin' each uvva as much as da 'umies."

The audience was shocked. A few even stood and shouted out. One boy punched his neighbor and set off a short scuffle. Sniksnazz felt the peak of Waaagh! energy diminish slightly, but the underlying intensity continued to grow, with an unmet need to fight and smash. 

"Oi! I told ya dat Orrus was called a Prime-Ork, didn't I? But dat's not da end...  

Da boyz gave da beakies such a good fight dat da biggest and best Prime-Ork, Orrus, had all his boyz paint dere armor green like da Orks! And all da 'umies knowed dat da green beakies wuz da best, even da Emp-Roar knowed it. 'E made Orrus da biggest boss, called da Waaagh!-Masta of all 'umies.

After dat, sinz dere wuz no one else good left ta fight, da Prime-Orks decided to fight each uvver. Orrus sed he was da best and wanted ta lord it ova da Emp-Roar. So da 'umies fought da biggest war eva'. Dey called it Da Orrus ‘Urty cuz Orrus smashed up da whole galaxy and wuz ‘urtin’ all da uvver 'umies fer years and years.

Finally, 'is green boyz get all da way to da Emp-Roar’s planet. Loads uv beakies and millions of squishy 'umies wuz fightin’ ova da planet wiv tanks and 'umie gargants and wot not. Den Orrus fought wiv da Emp-Roar’s best Prime-Ork: da red one.  'Is boyz was da red klan and his name in 'umie wuz “Bloody” cuz he killed so many dat he wuz always covered in blood. It was da Red boss vs da Green boss, a supa good fight. Da red boss was fasta cuz his armor was red but da green boss was ‘arder and he had a big klaw. So Orrus krumped Bloody and made him all bloody. Hur hur hur." 

This had the desired effect and the gathered listeners roared their laughter, cheering for Horus. As the one who defeated the orks of Ullanor, he had their respect and awe. 

"So da Emp-Roar got mad dat 'is best boss was ded and he tellyported onto da ship to fight Orrus hisself. Dis wuz an even bigga fight cuz da Emp-Roar was a weird-boss and had brain powaz. He only beat Orrus cuz he used his weird boy powas on him. But Orrus krumped him in da proppa' way and da Emp-Roar was so smashed up dat 'e went into his Golden Frone and eez  neva come out since. Orrus died and iz boyz went into da warp. Dey painted der armor black to be ’arder like Goffs and dey been raiding da 'umies ever since. 

Now da 'umies fink da Emp-Roar is like Gørk and Mørk and da beakies try to impress him wit dere fightin'. Dey are tryin' to be as 'ard as Orrus. And dat's why da beakies fight so good. 

 Now dat’s a good story! Ever-body got krumped! Da end."

The orks around the fire cheered, some firing their sluggas into the air, others howling into the night. Now they were truly inspired to get back into the fight with the space marines and re-live the glory of Urlakk Urg and the orks of the past against these worthy foes, the beakies that smashed the galaxy.

Urlakk Urg, Overlord of Ullanor